Creative ways to ask to kiss (or be kissed by) someone even if you are shy

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NOW, Lets get back to the topic.

Overcoming First Kiss Anxiety

You might be haunted by the thought of ruining the date or worse, being greeted by a slap.

But remember, women understand why you’re on a date together. They know you’re both there to explore whether or not you have an intimate sexual connection.

So, they won’t be surprised or even angry when you go for the kiss, even if they’re not ready. They only feel that way if you go for a kiss, they tell you they aren’t ready, and then you ignore their boundaries.

But fear not! We’ll address respecting boundaries later in this article.

In fact, it’s generally better to go for a kiss even if you don’t get it. Because it shows a woman that:

You’re confident and willing to express your romantic intentions. That is always going to be attractive to a woman.

You can respect her boundaries. This builds trust and makes her think, “Well…maybe next time he goes for it, I’ll be ready.”

Finally, stop stressing yourself out about achieving the perfect kiss technique.

The vibe you create on the date, your boldness to show your intentions, and your appropriate response to her reaction all matter more than your tongue gymnastics.

Building Anticipation Through Touch

If a someone is going to kiss you, they need to feel comfortable touching you first.

When you aren’t physical at all and go for a kiss, it feels sudden. They haven’t had time to get comfortable with your touch.

Gradual touches, even if it’s just a gentle hand on their shoulder, get them ready for the idea that things will progress into more. It also starts to build arousal and anticipation.

Then if they seem receptive to those touches, you can progress with more intimate touches until naturally, you both want to kiss.

Basically, you want to heat the fire so they can’t wait for the kiss as a culmination of powerful feelings, and not just like “Oh cool, we’re kissing.”

So the best litmus test to tell if they are ready is them accepting your touch and especially if they touch you back.

Many people overthink this. They look for a “magic sign” – like the skies parting and angels trumpeting “Now’s the time!”

But honestly, once you get past a little basic friendly physical contact, you should assume they are ready to be kissed at some point.

They are not letting someone get close and touch them in a romantic way unless they are feeling it, too.

Preparing For The Kiss

Consent is paramount when making a move on someone. For guys, you never want to make a woman feel taken advantage of.

So guys often feel like they need to ask for permission to go for the first kiss.

It’s not the worst idea in the world, but it’s kind of the least hot way to go about it.

Nobody wants to feel like they’re signing a legal contract for a first kiss. Women often tell me, “I hate it when a guy asks if he can kiss me. It kills the spark.”

Here are two better ways to go for the kiss:

- Don’t ask, tell her you want to kiss her!

- Say something like, “I really want to kiss you right now” or “I’m thinking about kissing you.”

Speaking what you desire shows confidence and leadership. And it still preps her that you’re going to plant one on her. Then she can decide if she wants to lean in and kiss you. Or if she wants to turn her head, take a step back, or tell you she’s not ready.

Otherwise…

One big challenge people face when starting to ask for consent is finding the balance between giving space for the other person to say no, yet maintaining the sexiness of the situation.

In practice however, the thrill of asking for consent is fun and creative. Do you remember your first kisses? Butterflies? The uncertainty, hesitance and awkwardness are all cues that consent is being practiced. You’re alive to the possibility of someone saying “no”.

*Bear in mind that inviting kissing in any of these ways requires an appropriate context (more on that later)

“Would it be okay if I kissed you on the lips?”

“would you like me to lean closer and put my lips on your neck?”

“Would you be willing to kiss me right now?”

“I would love to kiss you right now, if you’re into it. Are you?”

“How comfortable would you be with kissing right now?”

Try this: Lean towards someone and offer them your cheek. Give them eye contact while tapping your cheek.

If your partner responds to that, try tapping on other parts of your face or body.

Write your request on a piece of paper and pass it on a note.

Part of practicing consent is being comfortable with saying and receiving “no” as an answer.

This can also be challenging for people to get used to. Here are some ways to practice:

“No.”